BERNIE SANDERS FORCED TO GIVE UP
HIS BID FOR THE PRESIDENCY
DUE TO INTEGRITY ISSUE
WASHINGTON - The Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders’ bid for the 2016 Presidency was declared over today because of a key feature of the American political system that makes a person with integrity ineligible for the White House. According to some experts, the electoral system has developed a number of safeguards over the past few decades to prevent someone with independence and backbone from occupying the Presidency.
“Bernie Sanders’s failure to be bought by wealthy campaign donors excludes him from the network of cronyism and backroom deals required under our system to be elected,” said Davis Logsdon, a political scientist at the University of Minnesota. “The fact that he is not beholden to a major corporate interest or investment bank would simply make him ineligible.”
Because of his ineligibility, Logsdon said, the Vermont Senator would be unable to fund-raise the one billion dollars required under the current system to run for President. “The best source of a billion dollars is billionaires, and Sanders has alienated them,” he said. “Clearly he didn’t think this through.” So far, the most Sanders has been able to raise is $45 million per month.
Logsdon also said that Sanders might persist in his quest for the White House despite his inability to raise billions, but that such an effort would be doomed to fail. “Our political system has been refined over the years specifically to keep people like Bernie Sanders out of the White House,” he said. “The system works.”
APRIL FOOLS !
IT'S CALLED SATIRE.
Did you get the joke, or did we get you?